Send questions and comments
to Tavi@bcrescue.org.Through the General Border Collie Discussion, BC-L, we were blessed to have literally hundreds of friends offer shoulders and words of comfort. Here, we share some of their words with you. We have found them invaluable in helping us grieve and remember. We have more that we'll share soon too.
All text on this page copyrighted by the respective author as noted. All rights reserved. Do not copy or redistribute without express permission.
Jan Ziff | Kim Dunning | Judy de Jong | Karla Kimmey | Keli Roberts-Frost | Barbara Craig | Chanty Netting | Cam Tilbury | Dorcas Beaton | Linda Zabron | Aspen Mountjoy | Judy Godwin | Teresa Castonguay | Mary Ann O'Grady | Stephanie Cuillier | Dee | Cheryl Miller | David Littrell | Donald Berg | Karin Haderly | Sam C. Ford | Jacqueline Tulip
(contin.)
They take a special place in our hearts, these trusting, loving friends. They are there in the best of times, and in the worst. They are there when there are wonderful world events to share, and when you cry out because you've done something mundane like stubbed your toe. They become as much a part of your daily life as washing your face, or brushing your teeth and going out of the door.
Everything you do, everything you've said, and everything you've hoped for and achieved over the past 12 years, Tavi was part of.
Your apartment will remain "eerily quiet"--there's no comfort here, Chuck. I had the same thing happen, that's why I went to the Bahamas, and when I flew three weeks ago to meet BlueJay for the first time in Syracuse, I spent two nights here in DC alone. Again, I turned to the list and Nick's page for comfort. . . . I cried and sobbed and screamed Frankie's name into my pillow. I felt so stupid and so bereft and so alone. And no one could understand except another dog person, someone else who loved their dog with the same all-encompassing love I had for Frankie. She was my best friend for over 13 years. She was with me before Allan, before moving to the US, before my successes at the BBC, and after my failure in the corporate world. And she loved me as I loved her. Nothing was too much. She waited patiently for me when I was late, she forgave when I couldn't take her out late at night, and she loved me despite the mess I thought I'd made of my life.
I wish I could help you take the pain away. You have been so good to me. You helped me get BlueJay, you've been there for silly questions--you are a good "new" friend.
Please believe me when I say it eases. But it never goes away. Even with the Blue Man, I look at him and still see Frankie.
When we heard that Frankie had spinal cancer, we knew there was no choice. Well, there was, chemo, pain, distress, maybe 6 months, maybe 6 days, maybe 6 weeks. But nothing that would have improved her quality of life. Just thoughts and ideas on how I could manage to keep her just a little bit longer, maybe another day at home. Maybe another morning to sing my silly wakeup song to her, maybe even another evening . . . but all the options were for me, and not for her. And finally holding her close like you held Tavi, we said goodbye and watched her slip away.
Dear Chuck and Beth, I am just so sorry--because I know . . . I really know.
You are in my prayers tonight,
with love
Jan
I am so sorry for your loss. I am in the process of trying to get over a similar loss. My Latigo had to be put down in Oct. She was the same age as Tavi and I had had her for 12 years. I received this poem last night from the author in the Pet Loss discussion. I hope that it helps you. It is called "The Greatest Gift".
Kim Dunning
So very sorry to hear about Tavi.
Chuck, your obituary made us feel so close to you all. What an absolutely wonderful dog.
Reading it had me in tears, all through it your love and appreciation of Tavi shone thru. How lucky you have all been, to have such a companionship. Thank you for sharing with us.
I always say it is an enormous privilege to share my life with a dog, and a BC in particular. I think that the pain we endure at losing a special friend is part of it. We know that we have to face the pain, but it doesn't make it any easier to bear.
Judy
Australia
Thank you for sharing a most eloquent tribute to Tavi. My thoughts are with you and your wife.
Aloha nui, Karla
I'm so sorry to hear about Tavi. 12 years with ANY animal is a lifetime of love--but with a Border Collie the effect is increased 100 fold. Only the people on this list could understand your grief.
Take care,
Keli
On this day of Thanksgiving we are all thankful for the dogs we have and for the dogs we HAVE had and the wonderful experiences with them. ALL our hearts go out to you and thank you for sharing such a wonderful tribute to your beloved Tavi.
Happier holidays and may you find another great companion in the future.
Barbara and Dax
First thank you for making this message possible at all.
It is hard to lose a love done no matter how many legs the loved one has. Be thankful for the good memories that will eventually replace all the pain of your love.
Time heals, but this doesn't mean forgetting. I lost my best friend, who happened to be my older brother, 23 years ago. Sometimes I still cry missing him. But mostly I remember just how neat a guy he was.
In Christ's love,
Chanty BCR(O)
On behalf of Cheyenne and I, please accept our deepest sympathies regarding the loss of Tavi.
I didn't know the little guy, but as with everyone on the list, he was a family member and will be sadly missed. You had a wonderful relationship, and will CONTINUE to do so--just in a different way.
With sympathy,
Cam Tilbury with Cheyenne
Ajax, Ontario, Canada
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. So sorry. Your tribute touched on so many things that we love so much about our dogs. It sounds like Tavi lived fully, and suffered only for such a short time.
Take care of yourselves. Tavi is okay now.
Dori and Kunde
I was very sorry to hear about Tavi. The love that you shared was very obvious by the wonderful obituary you wrote. I know through experience that it is a very hard thing to make the "decision." I know it may not help but, based on his brief history that you shared, you made the right decision for Tavi. You were strong for him when he needed you. He had a wonderful life and you kept it good until the end. My thoughts (and tears) are with you and the BC's (including the new foster) will get my hugs today in Tavi's memory.
Linda Zabron
Please accept my sympathy. And the critters send kisses and cuddles.
Aspen
Lucky, Little Girl & Kitters
I just don't have any words that can express the sadness that I am feeling at this moment. Please know that you are in my thoughts. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your very good friend. Tavi was a wonderful companion . . . you will have many memories of good times. I know that you are shedding many, many tears right now (I'm shedding tears for you) and that no one can say or do anything that will ease your heartache. Just know that there are people . . . who don't even know you . . . who care very deeply. My thoughts are with you.
Judy Godwin (Raleigh, NC)
I think we all fear the day that we have to make the decision. Concentrating on the long and happy life you ensured and shared is a very small comfort. Who was it that said, "A dog's greatest fault is that they don't live long enough"? I share your sorrow.
Teresa Castonguay
Tess & Briar (from the House of Slow Border Collies)
Sophi & Tuxedo (just the cats)
The Away Team Flyball Club
Border Collie Rescue (Ontario)
I read with sorrow (and tears) of the death of your beloved Border Collie, Tavi. No matter how many dogs one has, how old they are, or how sickly, their passing is always a heartbreak! My thoughts and prayers are with you in this sad, sad time in your life.
Mary Ann O'Grady
My name is Stephanie Cuillier. At present, I do not own a Border Collie (I have 3 Shelties), but in the future I would really like to add one to my family.
Your tribute to Tavi really touched me in the deepest way and really hit close to home, because my 3-year-old Sheltie, Bonny Lassie (my best friend and agility partner), was recently diagnosed with lymphosarcoma. The vets told me she had 4 weeks to live without chemo and about 3-4 months of quality life with chemo. I chose to have the chemo treatments, and with a few ups and downs, Bonny is doing well.
I know that soon, though, I will be faced with that horrible decision to send Bonny to heaven. I don't know how I am going to handle it. Bonny and I have this incredible connection. She has been wonderful in obedience and a fantastic competitor in the agility ring, but most of all she has been my best friend and I love her with all of my heart. My prayers are with you and your family . . .
Stephanie Cuillier
OakGlen's Gonny Lassie (3 years old)
OakGlen's Derbyshire Lass (4 months old. Bonny's half-sister)
Chasmerla's Elegant Lady (Ginger. An 18", 5-year-old Sheltie who has
been described as a Border Collie in a Sheltie disguise)
I am so very sorry about Tavi. He certainly sounds like he was a wonderful dog. I know how hard it was for you and Beth. As you said, you had some great years and that's the important thing.
Take care,
Dee
My sympathies for the loss of Tavi. It's obvious that you loved him very much and I'm sure he knew that. I hope you'll get some consolation from the fact that he lived such a wonderful life and remember all your happy times together.
Cheryl Miller and Molly
I can only imagine how hard it was to write Tavi's obit. It is hard enough just to read it. What a lucky dog. Unfortunately, many of us have been through this same scenario with our best buddies. My wife and I both know how much it hurts. Our best wishes go out to you and your wife. What a lucky, lucky dog . . .
Dave & Melina Littrell
We have never communicated before let alone met . . . but I must tell you that I wish I could take each of you in my arms (Zak) too and hold you. That isn't possible . . . but please know that our thoughts (Chicosan) and Mine) and those of the rest of the list (I am certain) are with you at the most trying time. The time we share with our beloved animals is all too brief . . . It is totally impossible for me to think of being without Chicosan . . . but it is time that we can, should and must cherish. Tavi may be gone but he is certainly not forgotten. If there is a "doggie heaven" he is there and he knows you are all thinking about him.
Nothing can be said to make you feel better . . . trying to say anything sounds like a drippy cliche, I know . . . but I am glad that we (the BC listers) can be here to listen to your pain.
don & Chicosan (notice he gets the capital letter, I don't)
I am so sorry to hear of Tavi's passing. He sounds like he was an extraordinary BC, and deeply entwined in your history together, which makes his death even harder.
Remember to celebrate his life, as I am sure that he would not have you be sad for him . . .
Trying to smile through my tears,
Karin Haderly & Strike
Longview, WA
tjhad@cport.com
If ever there was somewhere a BC that did so much good for so many others (People and BC's) I can't imagine where. To have influenced you and your work. Truly, Tavi will "Work on" as an example to all of us forever. Thanks for sharing this special BC with me. Please allow me to support Rescues in Tavi's Memory by telling the list where to send our thoughts and donations.
Our prayers and thoughts are with you.
Sam & Missy (Why is Daddy holding me so tight)
Your love for Tavi came through loud and clear, I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
Thinking of you,
Jacqueline Tulip and Alexander
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